My Pregnancy

So, the adventure begins. I am horribly sick. I throw up many times a day, and I have this over-all crappy feeling every single second of the day. I can't do much of anything but lie on the couch and wish death upon myself. I swear... I used to cry because I just felt so miserable.

I wanted to have a homebirth and while I was seeing an OB, I was searching for a Midwife who'd take me on. And I did. In my 18th week I found a great lady who delivered her own twins at home in her tub many years earlier, and had since delivered other women's twins. Through my pregnancy I saw an OB, a Perinatologist, and my Midwife. I hated subjecting my babies to the numerous ultrasound scans and I ended up pretty much begging my Midwife to let me see her as my only practitioner, but she was a little scared. In NC, Lay Midwives are not legal. NORTH CAROLINA SUCKS!

I got big, and I got big very fast. I am tiny-height and weight- and I measured anywhere from 4-6 weeks ahead through out my pregnancy. The first picture above is from the 3rd month (barely) and the second photo is toward the middle of my pregnancy, around month 5. Even though I was huge, I felt pretty good after the neausea went away. I used to love my pregnant body when I was carrying my other children but I admit I was embarassed my belly this time around. People stared at me and when I was 6 months along a woman told me that I "must be overdue!" I felt very awkward and strange.

I thought I would carry these children with no problems, but at 28 weeks I went into preterm labor. I stayed overnight and was given Magnesium Sulfate. It sucked... I had to have a bunch of straps on my belly, and they were so tight! It was painful and I could not get comfortable. I was advised to limit my activities, of course, and NO bedroom activities at all. I was already effacing and dilating and at 28 weeks, the babies were not ready to be born. I sort of cheated, but I did lay around most of the time. I ended up back at L&D after going to my moms for a BBQ ( I was inside, not out in the heat) but didn't need any meds to stop the contractions this time since I hadn't dilated anymore. I did, however, get a scolding! Looking back, I shouldn't have been so ignorant.

The weeks flew past. When I was 31 weeks along, we got news that my husband, J., could get his old job back. In Connecticut. Were were living in North Carolina!!! My family was very upset because we had to move on such short notice if we wanted J. to get his job back but two DAYS later, I stopped in at L&D for a NST, got a copy of the results and my records, and we left.

The trip was long and uncomfortable. I couldn't get in a good position. My back hurt, my belly hurt, the babies were pushing on my lungs and ribs, and every bump made me contract. I kept praying that we would make it to our destination because I was so crampy. We did. Barely.

How It All Began...

Let me begin by giving a little background, and take it from there:

In 2006 I married my husband, J. He is my second husband and when we married in August of 2006, we had a son together- E.G. We began wanting another child together almost immediately... but alas, it was not to be that simple! I was breastfeeding E.G and had gotten a few shots of Depo Provera in the first six months of his birth, so I went a full 24 months before getting my first post-partum cycle. There were a lot of pregnancy tests pee'd on in those two years and herbal supplements taken to aid in return of my fertility.

Finally, in June of 2008, I got back my menses. I was still nursing, and frequently. I stocked up on cheap pregnancy tests that I got online and prepared for another six months of TTC, at the least. In August, on a whim, I took one of my pregnancy tests and examined the test area.
Hmmm.... two light lines. More evaps?? I walk out of the bathroom, still looking at the test.
" Babe, I see two lines..." I say slowly, head down. I hear not my husband's voice... but my sister's!
"Two lines?? On what??" she asks from her seat on my couch. She had come while I was in the bathroom, and I hadn't seen her sitting there when I walked out. Nice. My husband proceeds to tease me about evaps and ticks me off. I show my sister and she agrees that the line is a true line, just light. I take a few more just to prove to J. that it's positive. After about three tests he accepts it. I'm in this weird state of mind that every woman who has just found out she is pregnant ( on purpose) understands- giddy and anxious and totally excited all at once. After TWO years!! I was PREGNANT!

Then I began bleeding. Every single time I was intimate with J, I'd bleed like a stuck pig. I had no idea how far along I was, but the first time I saw the blood in my undies I freaked out, crying hysterically. While my family watched E.G, my husband and I headed for the E.R. After blood tests and a pelvic exam, I am informed that my level of HCG is very low and they suspect an ectopic pregnancy. On ultrasound, nothing is visible in my womb. I could see for myself it was empty. I had to wait days to have my HCG levels re-checked, and two very long weeks for another ultrasound. My levels were rising, and at my ultrasound a sac was visible, measuring at six weeks. I was thrilled! The bleeding continued with each bedroom session, but it was found that I had a "friable" cervix. Two weeks later, at about eight weeks along, I was able to have another scan done. Here is where my life changed.

Everyone who's had an ultrasound knows the drill. A dark, chilly room and a feeling of extreme apprehension. We see, on the screen on the wall facing us, my womb. After a few seconds, there it is! I happen to see a weird looking bulge behind the babies head, but being no expert, I didn't say anything. Just a few seconds later, the tech exclaims " Oh my!" My stomach kinda flipped and I ask slowly " What?!"
" You're having twins!"
I am advised a few minutes later, by an O.B, not to expect both babies to be there in two weeks. I already knew of vanishing twins. I didn't need him telling me this 10 minutes after the shock of my life. I was scared, excited, and even disappointed. Twins. At 24. But one could die.